The Hole In 3D

Family move into new house. Children find a trap door in the basement. They proceed to unleash (extremely moderate) hellish fury. Inner demons. Boring ghost town. Teen crushes. Yawn.

Before the opening credits roll, The Hole has been badly pitched, in glorious 3D. Apparently this is a 15A film, and according to the IFCO website, it can be seen by children of 15 or older, or by children younger than 15 once they are accompanied by a parent or guardian. Recent films which have been awarded a 15A rating include The Hurt Locker, Paranormal Activity and Shutter Island, and to consider this in the same bracket is something of a joke, especially when the supposed target audience would spend hard earned money to see this in the cinema. For example, I wouldn’t ever have bothered if I thought it was a children’s horror film, as I’ve far more respect for my mind than that.

A by-product of a children’s film (albeit one which includes miniscule amounts of blood, and walking dead people to supposedly bump up the rating), is the stereotypical characters. Of course, there’s the troubled teen Dane (Chris Massoglia), who feels isolated having moved into a new area. Then there’s the neglected younger brother Lucas (Nathan Campbell) , craving attention from somewhere within his family. There’s the hard working single mother Susan (Teri Polo), struggling to juggle her life with her family commitments, and finally Julie (Haley Bennett), the hot girl next door type, quite literally.

And of course, stereotypical characters fit into stereotypical roles. For example, Dane believing that Julie already has a boyfriend, when in fact she’s just pretty popular with everyone. Said girl also having a dark secret that haunts her, because of which she’ll need comforting (death of someone close). Lucas, the young sibling having a silly childhood fear (clowns). And the mother having to work hours that allow her children to be left alone to get up to all kinds of mischief.

Stereotypes are no excuse for a poorly constructed plot, however, and that’s pretty much what has been presented to us. Plot elements are not elaborated on, and singular fleeting references to events are not enough to carry the weak developments that occur. For example, when confronting her biggest fear, Julie announces that she knows what she must do. I’m not so certain the writer’s did, as she ends up at an abandoned carnival climbing atop a derelict rollercoaster ride, where her friend died many years previously. Most of these elements were mentioned in passing at one point or another, meaning it’s not so much confusing, but more smacking of a disregard for conventional storytelling.

The major attraction with The Hole has got to be director Joe Dante, famous for Gremlins, Small Soldiers and Innerspace. With some impressive work on his CV it seems impossible to attach himself to an entirely terrible film, and this proves to be the case as he reprises his mogwai-loving heyday in the form of a psychopathic clown, which bears more than just a passing resemblance to a gremlin through its movement and demeanour. It would be difficult to review The Hole without also mentioning the only other stand out scene, where the previous dweller of the family home, a paranoid old man by the name of Creepy Carl (Bruce Dern) finally gets consumed by his fear in a beautifully executed sequence.

Finally, I have refrained from mentioning 3D. This is because when it is visible, it is awful, and a perfect advertisement for the industry as to why not to put every available film in 3D. Combined with the other serious flaws, there is little worth seeing in The Hole, and it should be avoided.

Rating:
1/5