The Hole In 3D

Family move into new house. Children find a trap door in the basement. They proceed to unleash (extremely moderate) hellish fury. Inner demons. Boring ghost town. Teen crushes. Yawn.

Before the opening credits roll, The Hole has been badly pitched, in glorious 3D. Apparently this is a 15A film, and according to the IFCO website, it can be seen by children of 15 or older, or by children younger than 15 once they are accompanied by a parent or guardian. Recent films which have been awarded a 15A rating include The Hurt Locker, Paranormal Activity and Shutter Island, and to consider this in the same bracket is something of a joke, especially when the supposed target audience would spend hard earned money to see this in the cinema. For example, I wouldn’t ever have bothered if I thought it was a children’s horror film, as I’ve far more respect for my mind than that.

A by-product of a children’s film (albeit one which includes miniscule amounts of blood, and walking dead people to supposedly bump up the rating), is the stereotypical characters. Of course, there’s the troubled teen Dane (Chris Massoglia), who feels isolated having moved into a new area. Then there’s the neglected younger brother Lucas (Nathan Campbell) , craving attention from somewhere within his family. There’s the hard working single mother Susan (Teri Polo), struggling to juggle her life with her family commitments, and finally Julie (Haley Bennett), the hot girl next door type, quite literally.

And of course, stereotypical characters fit into stereotypical roles. For example, Dane believing that Julie already has a boyfriend, when in fact she’s just pretty popular with everyone. Said girl also having a dark secret that haunts her, because of which she’ll need comforting (death of someone close). Lucas, the young sibling having a silly childhood fear (clowns). And the mother having to work hours that allow her children to be left alone to get up to all kinds of mischief.

Stereotypes are no excuse for a poorly constructed plot, however, and that’s pretty much what has been presented to us. Plot elements are not elaborated on, and singular fleeting references to events are not enough to carry the weak developments that occur. For example, when confronting her biggest fear, Julie announces that she knows what she must do. I’m not so certain the writer’s did, as she ends up at an abandoned carnival climbing atop a derelict rollercoaster ride, where her friend died many years previously. Most of these elements were mentioned in passing at one point or another, meaning it’s not so much confusing, but more smacking of a disregard for conventional storytelling.

The major attraction with The Hole has got to be director Joe Dante, famous for Gremlins, Small Soldiers and Innerspace. With some impressive work on his CV it seems impossible to attach himself to an entirely terrible film, and this proves to be the case as he reprises his mogwai-loving heyday in the form of a psychopathic clown, which bears more than just a passing resemblance to a gremlin through its movement and demeanour. It would be difficult to review The Hole without also mentioning the only other stand out scene, where the previous dweller of the family home, a paranoid old man by the name of Creepy Carl (Bruce Dern) finally gets consumed by his fear in a beautifully executed sequence.

Finally, I have refrained from mentioning 3D. This is because when it is visible, it is awful, and a perfect advertisement for the industry as to why not to put every available film in 3D. Combined with the other serious flaws, there is little worth seeing in The Hole, and it should be avoided.

Rating:
1/5

Cyrus

Despite a promising beginning, there’s really not a whole lot to write about when it comes to this offering from The Duplace Brothers, their first with anything other than a miniscule budget. Cyrus tells the story of John (John C. Reilly), whose life is a shambolic mess following his divorce seven years previously. Yes, seven years. Upon hearing that his ex wife Jamie (Catherine Keener) is to re-marry, she convinces him to join her and her fiancé Tim at a party. The usual antics occur; he makes a fool of himself chatting up random women, gets disgracefully drunk, and somehow meets a lady called Molly (Marisa Tomei) who makes him feel like himself again. While he’s urinating in the bushes. Apparently, she likes his honesty.

Following this John becomes curious as to why his new squeeze keeps sneaking off in the middle of the night. His obsessive tendencies take over and he follows her home, only to fall asleep in his car. Exploring her premises the following morning, he encounters Cyrus (Jonah Hill), and the story, supposedly, begins in earnest, becoming a battle of wits between John and Cyrus with Molly as the ultimate prize.

Initially the most noticeable thing about Reilly, is that we have seen it all before. The lead role that he occupies feels suspiciously like it was written for Will Ferrell, with the character of John portraying an amalgamation of Ferrell’s finest moments, from his post-canine depression of Anchorman to his Frank the Tank escapades of his Old School days, Reilly flounders and is generally unfunny, predictable, and downright frustrating to watch as he becomes a diluted figure with little to interest us about him.

His is not the only performance deserving of criticism though, and as the star attraction of the piece it is even more disappointing that Jonah Hill fails to live up to expectation, barely forcing a handful of laughs throughout the entire film. This is very unfortunate given his extremely creepy role and the potential that is there for exploitation. Despite this he has a strong presence on screen, with the audience never quite sure what is coming next or what direction his emotionally charged character will take.

In his defence, perhaps Cyrus demands too much of Hill. The teenager and his mother have an exceptionally strong bond, and at times it is easy to forget they are related. This leads to an incestuous undertone while making Cyrus look like a perverted teenage predator, preying on his mother’s willingness to love him and raise him as best as she possibly can. One scene in particular in their home, which occurs as Molly showers before bed, feels strange given the age of Cyrus if nothing else. Added to this the duality of his character, toying with both Molly and John as he wishes throughout and conveying his emotions as such, while still trying to remain a comic figure, seems a lot to ask of anybody.

Overall the storyline feels fresh, if predictable. For the most part it is well executed, and the drama aspects succeed. The comedy side of things leaves the whole piece down, with too many moments that are not as funny on screen as the writers may have envisaged, and too many set pieces feeling laboured. For large parts it is drab, probably down to the lack of input from Hill, and that is disappointing because so much more could be expected.

Rating:
2/5